I’ve had a busy week this week. At work we had our first workshop of the quarter and preparing for it was a little different this time. We’ve worked hard. And we are all tired. I left work and came home and just laid there with The Pup and snuggled her ’till I felt warm. While we laid there, I thought about how thankful I am that I love my job. I’m so thankful that I get to learn from soulful people, people who really love others, generous people. I was lying there, in and out of sleep…. thinking about how awesome that is and how thankful I am…… a very close group of us got text from a dear friend.
And on this dreary day she faced things I never have. In the very gray coldness of my room I laid there thinking about her…. and this life. Wondering how we can ever love her enough… and knowing that we can’t. None of us can. There are things in this world that are irreplaceable and leave you indescribably vacant. I can’t even imagine the loss… and not being able to imagine it makes my pain for her easier, I’m sure. We all love her more than we could put words to. And we’ll all try to make a hundred dinners, or send bouquets or sit a hundred hours, but those things won’t fill in all the space in the life that’s missing……
It’s been raining all day and they are calling for snow in the area tonight. I’m with The Pup and I’ve just finished making soup. I called my mom and she said she had made the same soup and it made me miss home… There’s something about a rainy, cold day that will just make you miss people. I didn’t have the onion that I needed for my soup, and knew that she probably has 4 sitting in the drawer of the cabinet where she keeps them… And that made me miss her even more, the availability, the knowing that she so often has what I need… Aching. I ached with missing….
But isn’t it true that sometimes we don’t have what people need. Maybe it’s like that on purpose… Maybe we don’t have all that we need or what others need because we need more. More than anybody can really offer. We need resurrection. And restoration. And redemption. And wholeness, a whole slew of things that we are hard pressed to find when we need them.
But I know someone who was restored today. To be absent from the flesh is to be present with the Lord. It’s incomprehensible, really. No one here really knows what it’s like. But us girls know someone who does now know… what it’s actually like to fully present with the Lord of Lords….. and absolutely separated and protected from this patched, broken, torn up, un-whole place. Whole– He is whole before the Father.
It makes me whisper….Hallelujah. Praise the Lord for the thought given to the hairs on my head and to the very day that He will pull each of us into His Kingdom, our kingdom… because what is His is ours… to never be separate again.
To eternally be nurtured by the Creator. Hallelujah.
It’s snowing. What a precious way to end this day… a heavenly display of His love.